i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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