If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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