You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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