she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
