you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
