i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
As shirtless as possible
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
