does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
