you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
