Only a mothe r could love this liver
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
