none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Randomize
