Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I didn't notice because vodka
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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