you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
