Sponge bath it is.
Please, let me fuck your mom
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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