he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
