Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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