what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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