I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You can't special order awesome
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
