White coat. Heels.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
