Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
