it was like eating out sand paper
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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