I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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