Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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