so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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