garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
