some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
operation have a gay friend backfired
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize