just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
