She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
