So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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