Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
