I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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