I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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