Your tits are I can't wait for
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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