Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
