Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you had me at cake vodka
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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