You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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