let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
love makes seman taste better
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
