Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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