On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish I only lived at night.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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