the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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