You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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