And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
