Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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