My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
