What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The best revenge is premature balding
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
