with your own penis?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
