That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
