3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
