I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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