Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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