Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
