dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
