when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
