You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
