I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
