Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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