I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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