I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
