yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
