The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I believe in your delicious
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
