Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
